Alexandria Circuit Court Removes Drop Boxes, After Truth Bomb Explosion?
Animals Don't Start Forest Fires? LOL
Alexandria Announces Changes to Court Filing Procedures, as Litigation Hobbyist Preps to Think Globally and Act Locally
[FOB FREEDOM, August 8, 2023] Any station? Any station? Do you read? Over.
Reporting live from the world’s newest banana republic, . . .
If you had enjoyed the convenience of dropping off court filings in the drop boxes in the entrance foyer of the Alexandria Court, you may be in for a surprise, after one slightly after business hours filing apparently prompted a draconian response from the court, removing all of the drop boxes entirely. The ruse of civil procedure?
“Like probably one novel coronavirus, I once took the Rorschach Ink Blot Test, and every time they showed me a picture and asked what I saw, I replied, world conquest. Doing all of this from a car? Wow. I feel like the record producer in the Winnebago in That Thing You Do. I may need to fire my mental health therapist,” yawned Major Mike Webb, adding emphatic expression to his relative ennui regarding events.
Apparently, has arrived at the Alexandria Circuit Court yesterday to drop off the affidavit regarding the preliminary witness list around 4:05, hoping to catch somebody coming out to go back a deposit it in the drop box in the entrance FOIA, like he has for his last affidavit on case status that prompted Judge Clark to call for a status conference. The lady coming out said she would but apparently they took away all of the drop boxes.
“Think globally and act locally. I still can hardly believe that they permanently removed the dropbox. I pray they didn't fire the dude who made my after hours dropbox deposit,” remarked Webb, in a Locust Valley Lockjaw.
Webb is scheduled to appear for a pre trial conference on the 14th before the presiding judge with Alexandria Commonwealth Attorney Bryan Porter, to discuss the status of a case in which the prosecutor has avoided scheduling his own motion to dismiss since December. Webb intends to present his theory of the case, and will apparently commence trial with an invocation of local clergy, capping off with testimony from the former Virginia Governor, representatives from the White House, and the esteemed Doctor Anthony Fauci.
Meanwhile, Webb has been taking to social media to call for a surgical strike against a virology laboratory in China, so insignificant, apparently, that nobody ever talks about it.
Note: grandiosity is a classic sign of bipolar disorder, and we don't want to hurt his feelings lest he go to “that place”, so familiar to Arlington Public School Board Member, Latina Cristina Torres-Diaz.
Chim-chimera. Chim-chimera. Chim-chim-cherry. A pandemic agent as lucky can be. Chim-chimera. Chim-chimera. Chim-chim--achoo. The luck'll rub off when I bump fists with you. Or blow me a kiss, and catch COVID-2.
Your elected representative is called your elected representative for a reason; and Martin Luther King and Jesus never got elected.
And let’s get ready to RUMBLE! https://rumble.com/vp2uk1-attorneys-need-not-apply-you-have-the-right-to-remain-silent.html.